There’s something about round numbers that affects people as if the presence of a 0 in the one’s place necessitates additional introspection. To some degree there is a practical element since we tend to count in base 10 so every 10 units serves as a useful metric for evaluation. But in the context of age, our culture attributes certain societal values and expectations to the decades of your life be it 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, etc. such that the turnover can be viewed as an actual benchmark on one’s life. Of these markers, the change from the 20’s to 30’s is perhaps the most significant transition, representing an absolute break from the immaturity of youth to the responsibilities of adulthood.

“Thirty was so strange for me. I’ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.” – C.S. Lewis

Depending on one’s personality, this can be particularly depressing. For one it’s likely that no matter who we are we know someone whom we would consider to be “better off” than we are at the same stage, or worse, life may not have met the expectations formulated in our youth. In either case, there can be a sense of lost vitality, opportunity, and idealism. Who we are at thirty is likely who we’ll remain, thus sentencing us to continue our lives as it is – for better, worse, or redundant.

“Life is islands of ecstasy in an ocean of ennui, and after the age of thirty land is seldom seen” – Luke Rhineheart
“The conceptions acquired before thirty remain usually the only ones we ever gain.”
– William James

“It is well for the world that in most of us, by the age of thirty, the character has been set like plaster, and will never soften again.” – William James
The boy gathers materials for a temple, and then when he is thirty, concludes to build a woodshed. – Henry David Thoreau
“A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.” – H.L. Menckin
However, not everyone is content to go gently into that good afternoon. As Julie Lynem writes:

No one has all of the answers or reaches every goal. The important thing is to keep striving toward one.
So you’re not where you thought you would be at 25, 35, 55 or 65? Everyone’s life plan deviates off course at some point. What matters is that we make the most of the journey.
Now that I’ve turned 30, I’m no longer afraid of what’s in store. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow.

And indeed some have embraced thirtydom tempering youthful spirit with the maturity from experience. R. Boruch Leff offers more practical compromise:

Indeed, the Talmud (Pirkei Avot 5:26) [sic]¹ declares: “At age 30, one receives strength.” This is the strength of character needed to pursue life’s goals. The 20s process of trial and error leads to a more secure decade of the 30s, when a person is focused on true talents, pursuable goals, and genuine accomplishments.
The old cliche is true: A jack-of-all-trades is a master of none. The 20s are the training ground to become a jack-of-all-trades. The 30s is the time to focus and master those talents that can be applied in practical directions.

Of these comments I find R. Leff’s comments resonate the most. For the past several years I’ve been mostly involved in three different worlds: computers, Rabbinate, and academia – with significant subdivisions therein. For each field of which I have been a part I see friends who have chosen and stuck with one career path and often find them successful. Classmates who took tech jobs straight out of college have built up nice nest eggs and moved up the latter to positions of management. Some friends who went the Rabbinic route are established in their own shtellers, and others who did PhD programs are published, delivered papers at conferences, and are either finished with their programs or finishing shortly. Professional development aside, most friends of mine are married, and/or have children, or are otherwise “further along” in their lives and goals.
On the other hand, I’m reminded that life is not about accomplishments as much as it is about living. To quote Vincent Van Gogh:

“I do not intend to spare myself, not to avoid emotions or difficulties. I don’t care much whether I live a longer or shorter time. The world concerns me only in so far as I feel a certain debt toward it, because I have walked on this earth for thirty.”

Of course, Van Gogh later shot himself at thirty seven, but that’s not really the point. Turning thirty I do look back on my life thus far and where I currently am and I’ve realized that despite all the roadblocks and downturns I have been extremely fortunate in many areas of my life. Being a “jack-of-all-trades” has also allowed me to encounter some truly wonderful people. And by being exposed to so many different environments I can approach the world with a particularly unique perspective.
For some people turning thirty represents a psychological change, and for others being thirty is no different than being 29 and 364 days old. I don’t think for me there has been any immediate change, but I’m must more aware of how I’ve developed personally and emotionally in the past 10 years. And while I would still to be satisfied in a more stable situation, I hope that I will be able to be as open to possibilities and have faith when doesn’t go as expected.
To everyone who has been part of the first thirty years of my journey I thank you. And to everyone whom I have not yet encountered, I am looking forward.
Until the next round number…

1. Actually M. Avot 5:21

Nothing major today, just a few interesting links and thoughts:

• Page Six reports that a movie is in the works covering the rise and fall of electronics retailer Crazy Eddie. Aging New York couch potatoes no doubt remember Eddie’s frenetic commercials – our prices are innnsaaaaaaaaaaannnnne. As it turned out that Eddie Antar was crazy like a fox, fled to Israel and eventually was sentenced to 8 years in prison for massive fraud and assorted SEC violations. Page Six reports that Danny DeVito will play the role of Eddie.
• Apparently if you try too hard to get out of jury duty, you might wind up facing one yourself. A Cape Cod man is facing charges for making up excuses in the hopes of an exemption. What’s interesting here is that we have a real life case of the classic Liar Paradox
  

  “I’m frequently found to be a liar, too. I can’t really help it,” Ellis added.
  “I’m sorry?” Nickerson said.
  “I said I’m frequently found to be a liar,” Ellis replied.
  “So, are you lying to me now?” Nickerson asked.
  “Well, I don’t know. I might be,” was the response.

  Ok so he doesn’t know if he’s lying but even if he was, how could he have answered the question? The exchange continues:

  “I have the distinct impression that you’re intentionally trying to avoid jury service,” Nickerson said.
  “That’s true,” Ellis answered.

  Or is it true? There’s just no way to tell. And for the coup de grâce:

  Ellis could face perjury and other charges.

  In other words, Ellis is facing perjury for lying in court when he said he was a liar.

• Shaya sends in an AP story from today covering the declining state of the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge which we recently visited. The article implies that the marsh is deteriorating due to increased levels of nitrogen from the city. It would be a shame to lose the marsh, even if so few people know it exists. If you’re in the NY area, try stopping by one nice Sunday while it’s still there.

In the past week I had two peculiar discoveries:

1. Someone made a Wikipedia page dedicated to the Yuter Family
2. It will likely be deleted.

So much for our fleeing chance at Wikimmortality. Wherefore the purge?

The article does not assert the significance of the Yuter family, but acts as a genealogical article; Wikipedia is not a genealogical database. If there are multiple people notable enough to have articles on Wikipedia with the surname Yuter, then this should act as a disambiguation page. A quick Google search (Google should not be used in articles as Google links are not considered appropriate for an encyclopedia), however, yields little.

Given that I’m currently in the lead for google searches it’s hard not to take it personally that I am the “little” which is yielded. Maybe I need to get involved in some sort of scandal to bump up my Q rating. Heck, I didn’t even make the cut for my own family’s Wikipedia page!
Sigh.
Anyway, the page’s history shows that it was written by someone with the screen name “Yuter“1 who also administers the website Yuter.org, which according to a whois search is owned by Crescent Square Apartments of Herndon VA.
The sad part is this sort of absurdity is oddly typical for my family.2
Fortunately, the great Yuter tradition has been preserved by my great-aunt Elinor who happens to be a genealogist. In lieu of the fleeting Wikipedia page, anyone who *really* wants to read up on my family lineage can pick up a copy of her book The Yuter Family: Our Common Ancestor.
Because after all, isn’t there a little Yuter in all of us?

1. For the record, my Wikipedia login is JYuter.
2. As entertaining as a “Classic Yuter Stories” blog theme would be, I’d never be able to get away with it. Plus it would take way too many entries just to cover my immediate family.

I’m a bit pressed for time at the moment (what else is new) so we’re going to do an abbreviated recap of Pesach. Fortunately Pesach was somewhat less eventful since this time since as opposed to last year I went with a completely cleared schedule. This allowed for a slightly more relaxed and disorganized trip best recapped in the Bullet Points of Randomeness below the jump:

I am officially “between jobs” since this past Wednesday was my last day of work at Information Builders.
Way back in 1998 I was a junior in college and looking for a summer internship. I stopped by Yeshiva University’s placement office to browse through their Big Book of Jobs. I sent out my resume to all reasonable places for jobs in web design and programming.1 I sent out about 20 or so resumes, and the first callback I got was from a place I haven’t heard of called “Information Builders.” I remember the sensaiton of exhilieration at the interview. In fact I was unsually confident because the way they put it I shuold come in to see if I wanted the job.2 When I got back to my dorm room after the interview, I had a message on my machine with the head of the department apologizing that they forgot to formally offer me the job and asked if I was interested. Naturally I accepted mostly because it was the first thing that came along.
Since then I had been working at Information Builders off and on through smikha in what turned out to be a very mutual benificial relationship; they were happy to have me and I was happy to come back.
I’m not sure how other companies work, but in Information Builders so much depends on your department. Mine happened to have been generally relaxed with several talented people. Given the relatively small turnover, most of the department has been there since before I started initially.
The point is that even though it was necessary to move on, it still wasn’t easy.
So as a parting give to the company (in addition to the Krispy Kreme doughnuts to the department) here’s a farewell hakarat hatov gogglebomb for the industry leader in business intelligence and enterprise reporting.

1. Keep in mind that in 1998 web design was not terribly sophisticated and neither were the design tools: either you knew how to code HTML or you didn’t have a web page.
2. Also remember that in the time of the internet boom the job market was in favor of the techies.

One of the many frustrating things about blogging is that when life gets in the way of blogging there’s usually way too much stuff up on which to catch when everything finally calms down. In fact due to the recent convergence of events, lack of sleep, stress, and change in temperature, I was sick for a few days and unable to speak normally. Thankfully I’m fine now, but it was not a pleasant experience.
The big news is that I recently gave notice at Information Builders – a company with which I have had a relationship since a summer internship way back in 1998. Given my history with the company, this was not an easy decision to make. Information Builders, and specifically my department has been very gracious and supportive over the years and I am grateful to have been able to work with a fantastic and talented group of professionals.
After some time off I will be starting a new position at JPMorgan Chase where brother-in-law Avi started out not long after their merger with Chemical Bank.
In other news…

• For the next few weeks I will be filling in for R. Bloch at the Bridge Shul, including the Tu Bishvat Luncheon. Details to follow.
• Roommate Yonah first introduced me to the Martin Luther King commemoration at HIR. If you ever have the chance, I highly recommend you go one year for a really amazing experience – if not socially and spiritually than at least musically.1 Regardless, I find it reassuring to know that there is at least one shul which attempts to capture the spirit of unity promoted by Dr. King.

I think there’s more, but that’s all for now.

1. Carlebach done by a gospel choir is something to behold. Although from the comments made, it seems that not only is there a CD in the works with Neshama and the Green Pastures choir, but also that Neshama is a shrewd businesswoman.

I was at a wedding in Brooklyn last night which was an eclectic mix of hassidish, yeshivish, and bucharian sephardi. Some interesting tidbits which get their own bullet points:

• I counted at least four different dialects of Hebrew spoken under the huppa.
• It’s apparently not frum to order a “Sex on the Beach” in Brooklyn. Instead you have to ask, more appropriately, for an S.O.B.
• Incidentally, there were at least 3 gallons of vodka.
• The band was split between Ashkenazi and Sephardi musicians for a very interesting mix of musical styles.
• On that note, the hatan walked down to Stairway To Heaven, and I’m debating whether or not it merits being listed as a Weird Wedding Song. On one hand, a resonable interpretation of the lyrics might warrant its inclusion. On the other hand, Robert Plant, who has come to hate the song, refers to “Stairway” as a “bloody wedding song.” For now I’m putting it in with a footnote.

And in other news:

• I can understand people not being familiar with P.D.Q. Bach, but it doesn’t seem right that I need to compare him to Weird Al or Shlock Rock. If you’re interested, he’s playing at Avery Fischer Hall January 3rd.
• Prime Grill just opened a new store in Beverly Hills. I’m guessing business has been going well enough to justify the investment. Plus I give them credit for steadilly improving their health code records up to their most recent perfect inspection. Well done, indeed.
• On the flip side, Circa Meat just closed last week.
• There was some positive feedback from the devar torah, but I inadvertently telegraphed the Rabbi’s derasha. I went to hashkama and missed what was said exactly, but it was supposedly amusing. (It happened last time I wrote as well, but then at least it was Parashat Shelach where it’s hard to avoid talking about the meraglim). In any event, I’ll be speaking this week at seudah shelisit and I’ll have a backup drash just in case.