Last Sunday was the Jewish fast day of Shiva Assar B’Tammuz – the 17th day of the month of Tammuz. In addition to being a fast day, the 17th of Tammuz also marks the beginning of The Three Weeks of mourning leading up to the fast of Tish’a B’av. For these three weeks and the final nine days Jews generally accept some practices of mourning. However, there is much confusion as to what actions are prohibited when.¹ Every year around this time I get a slew of questions as to what is permitted and prohibited during the three weeks and nine days and for some reason I never got around to posting my responses. To correct this oversight, here is my understanding of the laws and customs of the three weeks and nine days.

Well, one bit of good news since the last post is that my recent thesis draft passed as is! I still have some minor changes to make like some silly grammar, spelling, or syntax things,¹ but even so, the professors found it passable “and quite interesting.”

Once I get those bugs out of the way I’ll consider either posting it or a thoroughly abridged summary.
If you’re new to YUTOPIA, I first blogged about this thesis way back on February 25th, 2004, and a few more times since. After a while I just stopped talking about it other to say it was “in progress” and generally let it get in the way of pursuing so many things in life mostly out of guilt and insecurity.

For so long I was afraid to write anything, mostly due to self-imposed pressure of writing a paper solely as an admissions ticket to a PhD program. For most of the time I was working on a topic I didn’t choose, didn’t really understand, and constantly felt too unqualified and too insecure to write anything. Even if I’d write three sentences, I’d delete two for not being good enough;I knew I could write better and couldn’t deal with not producing at the level I thought I ought to have been able. I even used to get panic attacks just by loading up the draft in Word.

There were several factors why things worked this time including:

1. Having a topic I understood
2. Having clear parameters for a research model
3. Growing up a whole lot over the past few years
4. Having an absolute drop-dead deadline
5. Getting laid off at an opportune time
6. Getting over the existential need to get a PhD immediately and living without degrees
7. Dealing with bigger problems, which helps put things in perspective
8. In fact I think it’s because at this point nothing was else riding on finishing the paper freed me up to view it as just another independent task

I may think of more later – right now I’m writing on instinct. I definitely feel that I’ve changed a bit since I’ve started, daresay even matured. There’s also an odd sense of closure. Back in 2003 or so the biggest advocate for me going to Chicago was my then-girlfriend, who got married within a day of me submitting my draft.² I don’t know exactly what that means, but I think it’s interesting enough to mention.

Minimally there’s a lesson here in either tenacity or stupidity. I’ve had several people – including a therapist – tell me to quit and move on, and perhaps if I were a better economist I’d have just dealt with the sunk costs. I think part of it was the counter-insecurity of admitting failure³ or that deep down I also knew that I do in fact know how to write.

At any rate, having a masters the University of Chicago it may or may not open doors in the future, but right now I don’t feel that it has to. That lesson alone is probably worth more than the paper itself.⁴
I would also be remiss if I didn’t thank my family and friends who have provided encouragement or even just put up with me struggling with this over the past few years. Also I must also thank the new professors for their constructive guidance and feedback. In fact I received more productive comments from them in the past few months than I’ve gotten in the previous four years combined.

1. Huge shocker I know.
2. Mazal Tov!!!!
3. Think something like that Simpsons episode where all of Mr. Burns’ illnesses cancel each other out.
4. Who knew you could learn something while getting an education?

I know I’ve had one of my extended absences from blogging, and I promise I *will* return with a full explanation and lots of other cool stuff. Just checking in to report that I’ve added the 300th song to the Jewish Guitar Chord Archive. The auspicious song in question is the Dovid Melech camp song, “with the pre-macarena hand motions.”
Keep on playing!

One of the highlights of being in R. Moshe Tendler’s shiur is his annual pre-pesach shiur in which R. Tendler discusses haggadah and some of the halakhot of pesach. I was able to pop in on the first day of the shiur, in which R. Tendler discussed his critiques of how mechirat hametz is often conducted as well as his own alternatives.

Identifying divine providence or hashgacha, if we’re being honest, is a tricky endeavor. Virtually any event can be attributed to free will just as easily as it can be to divine intervention, and I covered some of these views in one of my shiurim. Not only is our attitude towards events subjective, but even if we assume a “divine plan” it could take many years for this plan to unfold. I once gave a derasha pointing out that even Yosef Hatzaddik was relatively shortsighted in his view of hashgacha. As Yosef assuages his brother’s fears he tells them, “you intended for bad, but God intended for good; to have such a day to sustain a large nation” (Bereishit 50:20). As we know the descent into Egypt plays a much larger role in the Jewish story beyond Yosef’s limited perception. Furthermore, we recently read about the hidden divine role in Megillat Esther, the narrative of which which took place over the course of several years.
On the other hand, observing apparent instances of hashgacha immediately can have a profound effect on our outlook. Case in point, earlier today I had an appointment at 5:00 PM on the Upper West Side. On a normal Wednesday I would need to rush out of the downtown office, and depending on how well the 1 and 2/3 trains synch up, barely make it in time. But today, having more time on my hands than usual, I decided to head down earlier than usual and read outside on one of the benches in the middle of the pedestrian islands on Broadway. As I sat down to open the book¹ I noticed an elderly woman physically struggling with a younger person who seemed to be trying to help the older one. The exasperated younger woman explained that elder one had a history of dementia and tried to cross the street against the light to get away from her and asked for help in trying to get her to sit down on the bench.
Initially I just tried to diffuse the situation by talking to the elder woman, and eventually did get her to sit down though she was still very distraught. But as I was sorting out things with her aide, she said three very familiar words: “ata medaber ivrit?” As it turns out she was Israeli, initially from Tel Aviv, and a whole lot more lucid when conversing in Hebrew. Without getting into the details I spoke to her in Hebrew, calmed her down, and despite her claims of being completely fine, convinced her to go with the medics to Mt. Sinai hospital.²
While I have no idea what would have happened if I hadn’t been there, I do realize that had I not been laid off I wouldn’t have been there to help both her and her aide.
And the great thing is that this story of hashgacha is just beginning.

1. In an amusing irony, the book I was reading was The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable.
2. She wanted me to come with her, and I might have if I didn’t have the appointment (which I made with one minute to spare…again).

Dear Loyal Readers,
It’s been a while since I’ve done a personal post, mostly because there hasn’t been much going on worth reporting. Then again I suppose you could say I haven’t blogged regularly (even by my standards) since I changed jobs in accordance with their internet policies. At any rate this last part is now moot since my position at JPMC no longer exists, i.e. eliminated, downsized, or whatever term is in fashion these days.
While the result is similar to being fired, my current circumstances are really not as severe all things considered other than looking for another job. It was a good run at JPMC – I may be applying to other positions there – and I’m looking forward to resetting priorities and approaching the next challenges and opportunities.
In the meantime, I’m brushing up computer and Rabbinic resumes and hope to use the time productively. Of course any leads would be greatly appreciated…

The Jewish Week reports the “breaking news” that R. Hershel Schachter has once again made irresponsible and controversial statements. From a YouTube clip taken at Yeshiva Hakotel R. Schachter was to have said:

First you have to know what the army is going to do. If the army is going to destroy Gush Katif, there’s no mitzvah to destroy Eretz Yisrael…If the army is going to give away Yerushalyim [Jerusalem], then I would tell everyone to resign from the army – I’d tell them to shoot the Rosh Hamemshalah [Prime Minister],” which prompted laughter from his audience…No one should go to the army if they [the army] are doing aveirus [sins]…We’re talking if the army is seeing to it that the country is secure, if they’re doing the right thing. I’m not sure if the army is doing the right thing…we have to look into that.

This is not the first time R. Schachter has made controversial or irresponsible statements, but rather one in a pattern of such remarks which leads us to the question of the viability of his Rabbinic leadership.

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