I briefly mentioned, this past Sunday I officiated my first wedding. I can’t really say “performed” since the mesader kiddushin usually doesn’t do all that much in the ceremony itself. I wasn’t asked to speak under the huppah which was fine by me and of course, the rest of the guests. For obvious reasons, there isn’t much I’d feel comfortable telling an about-to-be-married couple since, not being married, I’m hardly an expert on how two people should live together.
As far as I can tell the wedding went off without a hitch. Or rather, it went off with one major hitch, but we were all very happy about it. I did made a few rookie mistakes, which though understandable considering my inexperience with weddings, is still very annoying. Then again, such is the point of shimush. I must say though that both families were extremely helpful in treating the wedding primarily as a simcha and instead of stressing the details, were just able to appreciate and enjoy the wedding. From my end, this meant being able to function significantly more calmly and minimize mistakes caused by performance anxiety.
Of notable quirks, The Excelsior had a player piano in the lobby which was apparently set to “Simon and Garfunkel.” As such, I can now add “Mrs. Robinson” to the list of most inappropriate songs I’ve heard at a wedding.1 There was also a contingent of random Lakewood people who showed up and not only provided a healthy dose of leibedik, but also some of the most bizarre shtick I’ve seen. Neshomo Orchestra was good as always, and major props to the bassist for playing a Carvin.
At any rate, as much of an honor it was to be asked to officiate a wedding, there’s something special when you just know the couple is right for each other. Truthfully, there wasn’t much I could tell them about marriage since both of them really “get it” already and compliment each other so well that even were I married with years of experience, I doubt I could give any insightful advice they couldn’t figure out on their own.
1. Although the hatan did point out that 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover would have been significantly worse.
Very funny! Excellent post! I would love to see more of these:)
When I did my first wedding a few years ago, I made a rookie mistake, too. It was a wedding with two rings, and somehow I got them switched; so I handed the bride a ring to place on the groom’s finger, and began to prompt her with the words of the vow, and of course, it wouldn’t fit!
After a moment of hilarity, we got the rings switched back to their proper places, and red-faced I said, “Let’s try that again, once more, with feeling!” Everyone laughed and the tension was defused — yay.
Ok the chatan (I’m censoriing this becuase you are), has officially made my list of an even more awsome sense of humor.
And yes we know they are perfect for each other (which is why it is so sweet)
And does anyone around here know why bands etc keep playing innaproriate songs at weddings?
My theory: They rely on the (usually safe) assumption that their clientele is too frum to chap the bad pop references.
sometimes it’s been requested