Lose Weight With Amazon! Click Here Now!

On my way to Israel I joked Twitter that I hoped I wasn’t overweight in terms of luggage. The truth is I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, or at least get better about exercising. Being in Israel certainly helps; when I was in Gush I dropped two suit sizes largely due to walking everywhere and eating less thanks to yeshiva food.
But in New York and working it’s perpetually difficult to find time/space to work out. As a Rabbi my schedule is erratic and I can’t afford the gyms. In Washington Heights I was better about jogging thanks to Ft. Tryon Park and I’m too scared to bike on the Lower East Side – try a bike land and you’ll see what I mean. Still, all these excuses don’t mean anything in the long term when faced with family medical histories.
My sister on the other hand is amazing, juggling a household with 4 kids, a job, active in the community, and still forces herself to do something be it jogging, learning to jump rope, or basic exercises with dumbbells.
Dumbbells! So simple, you can do plenty of stuff at home, a perfect solution! In fact there was a time I had some dumbbells. Years ago my great uncle Ben Yuter once randomly sent me two three pound dumbbells in the mail which should have made for a great conversation in the post office: “let’s see how much that weighs…” “Trust me, it’s 6 pounds.”
Before I try new stuff I typically search online to get a sense of how much things cost and what would make the best deal.1 Some sets looked intrusting, but I found something even more fascinating in the Body Solid Tools line. Sure looks like an ordinary a 7 pound dumbbell with purple coating, but the real bonus is further down the page. In the “Product Details” section I found this gem:

Shipping Weight: 6.4 pounds

Read that carefully: the shipping weight for a 7 pound dumbbell is 6.4 pounds.
Let one think this is an anomaly, the shipping weight for a 6 pound dumbbell is 5.6 pounds and the 8 pound ships at 7.6.
This is nothing short of revolutionary; Amazon has created a shipping system so advanced they can alter the weight of an object. I’m now thinking why bother with working out when I can just keep shipping myself via Amazon and lose .4-.6 pounds at a clip!
The best part is that after $25, I can even ship for free. Can’t get a better deal than that.

1. The “typical Jew” economics are really important when you’re paid like a rabbi.


  1. Janet
  2. nuqotw
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