Normally I’m better tempered than this; it takes a lot to get me annoyed enough to blog. However, in one day I’ve gotten messages from Frumster people who probably should….well you can decide what to do with them.
Person 1 (intentially leaving out their screen name) messages me with a “Hey – What’s up?” I was planning on ignoring it until somone who will remain nameless for now said that it’s hard for girls to be so forthcoming. So I politely responded. Then I get the generic message that she read my profile and doesn’t think we’re compatible. Meredith suggested that she could be a “Frumster Spammer” which I suppose is possibly, but unless she’s a hacker, she’d still have to look at my profile before sending a message. “What’s up” indeed.
Person 2 lives in England, doesn’t want to make aliyah, and isn’t even sure if she wants to relocate. She simply said, “Hey Josh, I likeyou rprofiel!!!” (sic). Best I could respond was “Thanks!” Then she e-mailed me asking if I’d consider living in London. For the record, I never want to be accused again of moving to fast.
Look, there are obvious problems with the dating world which have been explored at length elsewhere. Grayson Levy starts up a great free website to help people out, and yet people still can’t take the time to use it properly – or perhaps they’re just illiterate or confused by the color scheme.
My suggestion: A programmer with sufficient free time on his/her hands should implement an “Intelligence Factor” based on typos in a person’s comments and e-mails which would help weed out some people. Downside would be the increased odds of such people hooking up and eventually breeding….
Never mind.
Very interesting post. I write this comment as someone who has/had profiles a number of dating sites and have had similar experiences. I’d normally take the time to write a decent profile and get contacted quite often by people who were completely not what I’m looking for. Many were anywhere from 15 to 30 years older then me, in another country, some even on another planet. There are however a sprinkling of people that are good matches – people you can have proper conversations with and who probably share similiar interests with you. It’s unfortunate that many sites try to sell you on the idea that it is anything more then a gimmick. In reality the site is a tool to enable you. It doesn’t magically make things work. It is still for the most part 75% up to you to be proactive. The site can’t trully make your match – it can only put you in a room with a hundred or a thousand other people. The rest is still up to you.
The real issue is ensuring that the 100 or 1000 other people in the room are ‘possibles.’ I have a site called Frumsky (frumsky.com) which first tries to ensure (like other sites) you are on a site with people of similiar hashkafah. Recently I teamed up with the guys at Kumah.org to start another site specifically for young folks who are looking to make aliyah. The site SingOlim.org (singolim.org) is aimed at providing support and encouragement for singles looking to make aliyah. Help them network with other future olim for dating, and friendship. I invite you and encourage you to check it out.
ari frumsky
Josh–it must be great criticizing others for their typos w/r/to grammar, etc, when you never make a mistake? I, in briefly perusing your post, saw at least one mistake of your own !! Give her a break–she’s typing an email, not writing a graduate thesis. If you’re so critical of emails you’ll never find anyone you can live with. words of advice from a frum married woman. good luck.
What is the name of Grayson Levy’s site?
After sending out numerous emails to guys/girls you really get tired of writing up a full introduction, especially if you get no reply, so if i see a profile i like i just say hello and if i get a reply i take it from there….Whats wrong with that?
You know, Josh… be thankful all you have to deal with is spammers/hackers and dimwits. Try being a young woman and having a: severely older men contact you (i.e. I’m 20, they’re 43) or worse, b: where young men are quick to move into sexual comments, usually by the second message…
Anyways, I wish you much luck in finding a wonderful wife with amazing middot, high intelligence, and sincerity.
PS – Is somebody interested in implementing that intelligence test? I would severely appreciate it…