Recently in Chicago Life Category

Well, one bit of good news since the last post is that my recent thesis draft passed as is! I still have some minor changes to make like some silly grammar, spelling, or syntax things,¹ but even so, the professors found it passable "and quite interesting."

Once I get those bugs out of the way I'll consider either posting it or a thoroughly abridged summary.

If you're new to YUTOPIA, I first blogged about this thesis way back on February 25th, 2004, and a few more times since. After a while I just stopped talking about it other to say it was "in progress" and generally let it get in the way of pursuing so many things in life mostly out of guilt and insecurity.

For so long I was afraid to write anything, mostly due to self-imposed pressure of writing a paper solely as an admissions ticket to a PhD program. For most of the time I was working on a topic I didn't choose, didn't really understand, and constantly felt too unqualified and too insecure to write anything. Even if I'd write three sentences, I'd delete two for not being good enough;I knew I could write better and couldn't deal with not producing at the level I thought I ought to have been able. I even used to get panic attacks just by loading up the draft in Word.

There were several factors why things worked this time including:

1. Having a topic I understood
2. Having clear parameters for a research model
3. Growing up a whole lot over the past few years
4. Having an absolute drop-dead deadline
5. Getting laid off at an opportune time
6. Getting over the existential need to get a PhD immediately and living without degrees
7. Dealing with bigger problems, which helps put things in perspective
8. In fact I think it's because at this point nothing was else riding on finishing the paper freed me up to view it as just another independent task

I may think of more later - right now I'm writing on instinct. I definitely feel that I've changed a bit since I've started, daresay even matured. There's also an odd sense of closure. Back in 2003 or so the biggest advocate for me going to Chicago was my then-girlfriend, who got married within a day of me submitting my draft.² I don't know exactly what that means, but I think it's interesting enough to mention.

Minimally there's a lesson here in either tenacity or stupidity. I've had several people - including a therapist - tell me to quit and move on, and perhaps if I were a better economist I'd have just dealt with the sunk costs. I think part of it was the counter-insecurity of admitting failure³ or that deep down I also knew that I do in fact know how to write.

At any rate, having a masters the University of Chicago it may or may not open doors in the future, but right now I don't feel that it has to. That lesson alone is probably worth more than the paper itself.⁴

I would also be remiss if I didn't thank my family and friends who have provided encouragement or even just put up with me struggling with this over the past few years. Also I must also thank the new professors for their constructive guidance and feedback. In fact I received more productive comments from them in the past few months than I've gotten in the previous four years combined.

1. Huge shocker I know.
2. Mazal Tov!!!!
3. Think something like that Simpsons episode where all of Mr. Burns' illnesses cancel each other out.
4. Who knew you could learn something while getting an education?

Quick post to let y'all know I'm still alive, busy, and heading to NY soon. On a completely unrelated note, the winning number for Chicago's Dec 25th evening pick-3 number was 666.

Submit punchline below:

Remember last year I went to see the One Man Star Wars Trillogy? It looks like the guy is back in Chicago and now also does a one man Lord of the Rings. It's in a bigger theater and the tickets are a little more expensive, but not by much.

Actually, there are several shows playing in Chicago including the pre-broadway production of Spamalot with the original cast. Surprisingly, these are also relatively affordable especially compared to NY.

At some point I figure I'll need a break from writing. So, if I'm going to see one show this year, what should it be?

Any recommendations?

You might recall that last year was my first foray into hazanut when I did neilah. This year, I added mussaf to the repertoire. Not as good as I would have hoped, but not bad considering I have no formal training. Even knowing about this CD didn't help because the library's audio desk was closed for the month and isn't opening until Monday.

The timing was a little better this year. We started at 8:30, mussaf was finished at around 2:00, minha was at 5:00, neilah at 6:15 and we were finished with some time left over. This might seem a little quick compared to your typical shul. The major difference is that we cut out most of the silly hazzanut - the superfluous ay nay nay's. It also helped that we didn't have to wait for an absurdly long time for a rabbi to finish davening.¹ There was still plenty of singing, but almost no draying or wasted time. People davened with kavvanah, said every word,² and we still had a lot of time for reflection. Actually, I'd like to see more shuls adopt a model like this and cut down on the silliness which can actually get in the way of a meaningful service.

1. One year at YU, during the waiting for hazarat hashatz and other down time on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I started and finished Mishnayot Sanhedrin.
2. Minus of course, several hafsakot piyutim.

If you're in the Chicago area (or will be within next five years or so), and you happen to watch the PBS affiliate WTTW 11, you might catch me in one of their station commercials.

A few months ago I was on a date in the Museum of Science and Industry and there was this camera crew from the station looking for people to record some of their promos. They had a list of types of people they were looking for, one of which was "young couple." Since we were a "young couple," I just figured this would be a cool thing to do on a date. Besides - who really watches PBS around here that could possibly have a chance of recognizing me?

Apparently, many many people at UC.

Geeks.

Incidentally, thanks to Hasidic Musician for pointing out that Eli Ata was originally a Chabad niggun, and not a Carlebach one. Correction has been made.

The blog has been getting kind of intense and serious as of late. So, to lighten the mood a bit, some updates as to what's been going on at the glorious U of C.

As it turns out the Talent Show will be held on a Friday night. Considering that 58% of you voted that I should "Maintain Dignity (i.e. nothing)" then I suppose it's all for the best.

Here are the rest of the results:

11% - Beatnik Poetry (2 votes)
26% - Interpretive Dance (5 votes)
5% - Stand-up Comedy (1 vote)

Apparently, no one liked my cover of Rockin' in the Free World last year...

Before vacation, I went to see The One-Man Star Wars Trilogy. How geek-centric was this evening?

• I first heard of this performance from Slashdot. When you get your social events from Slashdot, you know you're in trouble.
  


• I went with two astro-physics PhD. students.
  


• The ushers dressed up as Stormtroopers, and EVERY person¹ went up to one of them and asked, "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtooper?" Believe it or not, the usher did not in fact kill everyone in the theater.² She must have been strong in the force...

At any rate, the guy was spectacular. In roughly one hour, he basically performed the entire trilogy (with sound effects) minus the boring scenes.³ His impersonation of Admiral Ackbar was just fantastic.

Um...yeah.

In other areas of obscure geekdom, since my vacation started I caught up on Homestarrunner and Red vs. Blue, and read Alan Moore's Watchmen.

All worthwhile, in their own ways.

Pathetic you say? Perhaps. But this is what happens with a T1 line, no classes, and more importantly, no car. Anyway, I have a class on "Theology and Mythology of Evil" in a bit, so I'll just end this before it gets worse,

Excelsior, True Believers!

Damn.

1. Although the thought did cross my mind, I decided to have mercy on the poor usher.
2. Bad for repeat business.
3. It should be mentioned that the audience did in fact notice when he did not recite the EXACT dialogue from the movie.

Those wacky UC'ers are at it again.

Do you have a talent you'd like to show off? Can you sing, dance, recite poetry, juggle, eat fire, etc., etc.? If so, come be in the MAPSS Winter Talent Show sponsored by your MAPSS social committee!!

One would think that people wouldn't have that much time on their hands to plan or participate in this thing. I barely knew we even had a social committee. But I do have to admit, I am intrigued.

Poll Closed

Of course if this thing is on a Friday night or Shabbat, all bets are off.

The laptop arrived at the repair center before Thanksgiving. What this means practically, I do not know. However, there are a few things I did learn this week:

• I have a new favorite place to work. (Thanks Miriam!)


• I really hate macs.


• AOL's beta of IM looks much nicer, but it's still buggy. (Random disconnects).


• I need to do some editing on the blog design to account for smaller resolutions and variant color settings.


• Structuralism ~= The Brisker Method (and not in terms of crispiness) - maybe more on this later.

Oh, and a hearty mazal tov to 2x former roommate Yossi Mandlebaum on his engagement to Carolyn Koch. (No onlysimchas link, God bless 'em).

I finished my take-home midterm today - to wiped now to do much. Next week, I give a presentation for Theorizing Religion on Asceticism In Rabbinic Judaism. Obviously, it wlil be a little different than my shiurim because of the nature of the class. Still, I get to do a quick intro to Talmud with a little mahshevet hazal thrown in. Not bad for a "secular" college.

Prelude

When I first mentioned that I would be a panelist discussing Egalitarian Liturgy, the immediate reaction I got was cynical to say the least. "Why would I want to get into that," and "you're being railroaded" were just two of the comments reflecting the broad sentiment. Initially, I too was skeptical for probably the same reasons.

First, the word "Egalitarian" recalls the classic conservative vs. orthodox debates, and is oftne employed by those with specific agendas. ¹ However, knowing the nature of the Hillel, and after speaking to the Rabbi, it seemed obvious to me that the panel would be cordial and informative.

Some questions still remain: why take the chance or why bother with this at all? It's a good quesiton; one which requires its own post.

Later.

The Ideological Conflict

I do not want to discuss the details of the other panelists' positions, mainly because I do not want to misrepresent them. However, I can present my own take on egalitarian liturgy and how I presented it in the discussion.

I did not like the title of the panel. The term "ethical" presupposes the discussion is a moral one - that there is some inherent value towards egalitarianism to which all people are subsumed. While there is a value to egalitarianism, I do not see it as an "ethical" imperative, but rather as a "religious" imperative. For the sake of this essay, I will define "religious imperatives" as requirements necessarily for the sufficient observance of one's faith.

As one of the other panelists correctly noted, the word "liturgy" is not limited to prayer, but it includes all manners of public worship. When discussing inequalities in Jewish liturgy, the most blatant example is the role of the woman. ² Women are relegated to sitting behind a mehitza restricting them from active participation. Furthermore, several prayers themselves are not amiable to many women. How can one properly worship when s/he³ is excluded from the primary religious mechanisms? This is a religious imperative.

However, there is a conflicting religious imperative: to maintain "The Tradition." The current actions of the community - following the practices of the previous generations - are as canonical as the Torah itself. It is arrogant at best - heretical at worst - to alter the practices of the previous generations.

Advocates of Egalitarianism could rightly point to the fact that liturgy has changed over time. Piyutim were added throughout the middle ages, many in response to actual events.⁴ For the proponents of tradition, the changes that happened in the past are valid, but we today have no right - or minimal right to make any further emendations. Furthermore, the nature of some of the changes currently suggested affect essential parts of the prayer service.

Specifics

To further understand this debate, we will have to examine some of the specific examples of the offending elements of Jewish liturgy.

I discussed the specific issue of prayer - the colloquial use of the term"liturgy".; I noticed two categories of non-egalitarian prayer. The fist involves language of explicit or implicit exclusion. For example, "bessed are you...that you did not make me a woman
is obviously exclusive of women. Other prayers exclude wicked people; in the amida prayer "velamalshinim" excludes heretics. An implicit exclusion would be the yekum purkan prayer which blesses "the congregation and their women and children" - implying that the women are not part of the community.

The other examples of non-egalitarian prayer do not excluded the petitioner, but somehow make the prayers inaccessible to the petitioner. "God" is most often referred to in the masculine. Or the use of the avot, the fathers and not the imahot, the mothers.

For the proponents of egalitarian liturgy, these types of passages exclude either the prayers from the individuals, or the individuals from the prayers.

Solutions?

Can there be a harmonious solution between the two conflicting religious imperatives? Regarding the issue of God language, I suggest that the imperative could be not to modify the language at all. According to all parties involved, God is supposed to be a non-gender. The Hebrew language lacks a gender-neutral conjugation; the masculine gender is used by default. By making a point of including feminine God language, one removes the neutral aspects of the masculine and instead emphasizes the gender. I will also theorize that this might have more of an impact on those communities who pray in English. The constant use of "Him" or "His" will have a greater impact on those who pray in Hebrew and will not be as sensitive to the masculine usage.

For the other changes, one would have to consider the nature of the prayer being modified. Of the passages mentioned, emmending the yekum purkan would be the most plausible since it would have the least effect on the tradition. Few people would notice the change - assuming they know the aramaic and say all the words - and even if a community would still reject this change for themselves, they would not reject other communities who would adopt this change.⁵

Regarding the Amida, I cannot anticipate any substantive changes in the current siddurim. However, halakhically, it might be possible - if not preferable - to personalize the silent amida.⁶ The petitioner will then have the religious meaning while remaining in the halakhic tradition, and assuming the petitioner uses some discretion, s/he will not offend the social tradition.

Conclusion

Throughout the Jewish history, Rishonim and Achronim have reinterpreted Jewish laws to reflect the religious needs of the community.⁷ However, due to the fragmented nature of the Jewish community, there are rarely new religious needs which are applicable to all. It is not surprising that different communities will have different needs. Therefore, I cannot claim that there is a universal religious imperative for egalitarian prayer. I can say that it exists for certain individuals throughout all communities, and for separate communities themselves. However, so is the religious imperative of "Tradition" equally applicable across the spectrum of Judaism. When faced with this conflict, it is up to the communities to reconcile them for themselves. Each has free will to decide which imperative will take precedence. However, in the areas of conflict, both sides must realize there will be consequences - most often the ostracization of one community by another. This too is a religious imperative - and perhaps the real ethical imperative.